Cash Crop

The barista blames Santa Claus—rather, the myth of Santa Claus—for why he pays attention to certain theories about life and current national and world events. On the surface, the idea that an obese fat man from the North Pole breaks into homes through the chimney to give you things is charming. If only security systems were common in his neighborhood during his formative years. Then the barista may not have been so naïve. Much later he wondered if “Santa Claus” was created by sinister means: An immoral fable on how to bribe your children. He felt deceived.

Earlier this month sprung Groundhog Day, a holiday celebrated in the United States—especially in greater Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and among devout Bill Murray fans. For the international readers, the idea of Groundhog Day is to instigate an over-sized rodent someone named Phil out of the earth to notice his shadow. If Phil sees his shadow, we are to prepare for six more weeks of winter. Not as clever as Santa Claus, the barista realizes, but just as far from the truth.

“Do you want me to keep the door open?” a patron asked the barista as he stepped outside into to abnormally mild air..

“Yeah, sure. I’ve got spring fever.”

"I’m afraid to think what this summer’s going to be like,” Buck said before he chomped into his veggie wrap at the bar..

“And Jennifer said tomorrow they’re calling for 70. Winter—the groundhog’s ass!"

More truth lies in the rumor that Jennifer is raising prices at le Harbor Bungalow Café this spring. It is no secret to the barista that coffee, sugar and paper prices are increasing nearly as fast as home prices increased last decade. Many café patrons are local business owners and equally unsurprised.

“You hear they’re calling for $5 gasoline this summer?” Buck asked.

“Good. Get more people off the roads.”

The rumor as to why this price inflation is occurring is fascinating yet foreboding. In the barista’s mind, this rumor is closer to reality than both Santa Claus and a weather forecasting groundhog. The expression "money doesn’t grow on trees" is a myth, a deception. Money—as in dollars, pesos, euros—metaphorically has been growing on trees for some time now. Fooled again! The big men will continue to print more money—money with no backing—until it is worthless. Hmmm…Then what will people exchange for coffee?